People get paid for this...really???

so why can't I? I have opinions! I'm funny too! AND...I'm a natural-born writer. My zodiac sign is ruled by Mercury--messenger of the Gods. I have a degree in Communication, I write and perform my own jokes. So how does one get noticed? WHATTAYAGOTTADO, I'm askin, cuz I'm broke and would LOVE to get paid to blog! PICK ME! PICK ME!