Cursing Like a Sailor

I have no idea why sailors curse more than people of other jobs or professions. After doing a  little research this morning, all I could come up with was a situation with 'an all-male setting confined in a small space'--free to curse since no ladies are present, which never occurred to me, but I suppose it makes sense.

I did find some alternatives to 'sailor' but for the most part, it all means the same, someone who curses A LOT! For that matter, I was surprised I didn't see my own name listed among 'trucker' or 'trooper' or 'fisherman's wife'.

As a fan of the curse words, I'm also a hypocrite when it comes to using them. I like to say them, nearly to the point of being gratuitous, but I do not like to hear them being used gratuitously. It just grosses me out. I find it trashy, and think it makes the person using them like a rapid-fire assault rifle look less than intelligent, if not downright stupid. They might be able to solve intricate calculus problems in their head, but as soon as they start effin' this and GD-ing that, I see their IQ plummeting like a Plinko puck on The Price is Right. I can't help it. I know it's not fair and far from being correct, and I'm sure many people have thought the same about me, too bad they were wrong. My vernacular is fed and nurtured, it grows on a daily basis. I even know how to curse in several other languages, bitches!

However, the first words I heard uttered from another human being today came out of my Inbredneckabilly neighbors while gathering up the last of their belongings. (I told you I know lots of words, but I failed to mention that I also invent them.) And they prove my point beautifully. They ain't smart. And they confirm they ain't smart at the top of their lungs!

When they speak, they scream, and when they scream, they cuss. They are in the final stages of moving out, having been evicted and many of my neighbors are extremely excited about this, including myself. Just last weekend they were in the hot tub bitching to another resident about how they're getting kicked out because so many people complained that they were loud. Should I point out that I know this because I could hear them yelling this information to the other resident across the entire length of our pool? YEAH! AND I LIVE ON THE THIRD FLOOR!!! Yelling about how others complain that they are too loud. Comical.

I digress...amidst all the stair-stomping and door-slamming, I hear..."Fuck it, ain't nobody gonna climb 3 fuckin' flights of stairs for no god damn Christmas tree! That's fuckin' STOOPID!"

If they do come back for their tree, surely I will hear them. No matter, I will be over here enunciating all my words properly, sans cursing because I can't stand the thought of anyone ever seeing me in the same light I cast upon the Inbreneckabillies. Still, some people DO put me in the same category because some people know me personally, with vivid memories of my favorite words. Damnit!

Is it any consolation that more intelligent people tend to cuss more often? No, but maybe yes...if they were harder to spell.